Waterpark

Waterparks
Are H2O havens
for a young child.
One would never
Assume
that the
Idea of death
Would Pop
into a little girl’s
Head at this
Eutopia of
Summer fun.
But it did.

The first time she
Realized that
one day
She too
Would No longer
Exist
Was in line
For the
Cliffhanger.

(Yes she was aware,
Even at nine,
That the name
Of the ride
coincides
With the theme of
danger—
A possibility
Of injuring oneself,
Etc.)

But the ride itself
Didn’t provoke
The initial thought.
Being so young
One’s death
Usually doesn’t
Tip toe
Its way into
A little girl’s
Psyche.

Yet the rest
of the day
Was a bust.
In no way could
She enjoy
The Ice cream cones,
Wave pool and
Lazy river that
She used to love to
Float down.

The phrase
What’s the point?
Relentlessly
Monopolized
Her thoughts.

She started
To become
Friends
With depression.
It played within
Her mind
Most days after
The water park.

She didn’t
Understand
What would happen
To her after she died.
(Religion wasn’t big
In her family).
God and heaven
Were ideas that
The annoying
Children of
Born again Christians
And Mormons
Liked to stuff
Down her throat
During recess
At school.

She never truly
Bought the
Garbage they
Were spewing from
Their naïve
And unquestioning
Mouths—

And yet she wished
It were
all true:
Heaven,
Peace after death,
Reuniting with
Lost loved ones.

But the yearning
Became dusty and
Was swept under
The carpet.
Still there,
But hidden for the moment.

Back and forth
For years
She would
Intermittently
Feel the
Relationship
She once had
With depression
Become reignited—
And ice cream didn’t
Taste as good,
And she was tired
A lot
And she lost interest
In things that used
To satisfy her creative side.

All because at 9
She started to
Think about
What it would be like
To die.

As the years
Passed
She lost her
Grandfather and
Both great
Grandparents.
When looking at their
Bodies—
Once so
Full of life,
All she saw
Were shells
Of her former
Family.

Nothing happens
After you die.
You are just
Gone.
Gone.
Gone.

Even at 22—
She has to pretend
The friendship with
Depression
Has been destroyed.
Otherwise he will
Find her new address
And ask to come in
To reminisce
about the past
Over some freshly brewed tea
And shortbread cookies.